*uselesspeople

…i’d, like, get all the medals.
Monica Geller, Friends.

Kiwis look nice. They’re good, green and cute. You might love them forever, you might dedicate your own life to them. WAKE UP PEOPLE!!! Kiwis are bad, mean, vicious and cruel fruits! Ok. Like that, it might sound weird. But I have proof. And you shall read this:

I love kiwis. I always have. Yesterday night, I start to be hungry so I decide to eat one. I take a knife and a spoon, like I always do. I cut the kiwi in 2 and start to eat one half with the spoon. But the kiwi ain’t quite ripe. So it starts to resist and shows some hostility. Declaration of war.
I gotta use the force, and try to make the enemy give in. But it ain’t easy. The lil’ motherfucka is tough and I need all my power to win this battle. And you all know how powerful I am . So powerful that BAAAM!! the spoon violently breaks down the Kiwi, throwing a chunk of the fruit right on my face, splashing everything that’s on my desk. With anger, I remove the piece from my forehead, insult it and clean my face.

In order to get my vengeance, I finish the kiwi with the big knife, to show it who’s the boss ^^ . Of course, I kinda lost that battle even if at the end, I did eat the kiwi. But the war ain’t over !!

Yesterday, I learnt that if you attack a kiwi, the kiwi strikes back.

So dear fellas, careful, mean fruits may attack you one day..

.cuz